Weekly Observations 1/24/07

I'll get to the "normal" observations shortly, but first, a few words about Jimmy Rollins of the Phillies.

During the Phillies "Winter Caravan" Rollins was asked about his team's chances this coming season. His response was:

"I think we're the team to beat in the NL East -- finally," Rollins said during the Phillies' Winter Tour on Tuesday at Citizens Bank Park. "But that's all on paper. You have to go out and do it on the field."

Oh, it is so on. Jimmy, did you foget that the Phillies finished 12 games behind the Mets? Are you really counting on Freddy Garcia, who gave up 32 HR's last year for the White Sox, is going to give up fewer playing in that bandbox the Phillies call home? Are you expecting Tom Gordon to do better than last season? Oh, he was good for a while, and actually saved his first ten games. He didn't blow a save, until of course, the first time he faced the Mets.

The Phillies have a lot of talent. Ryan Howard is a monster. Utley and Rollins are real good. But the outfield leaves a tad to be desired, and there are questions on their starting staff and bullpen.

Now, I'm all for bravado, and feeling your team is good, but you do not disrespect the prior season division winner like that. What was a fun little rivalry last season has just turned nasty. I'm hoping Willie has 25 copies of this made, and plastered in each guy's locker for the spring, and then used as wallpaper in the Shea Clubhouse. Oh, and Jimmy, the first series against the Mets is April 9, the Mets home Opener. As if the crowd and team won't be fired up enough...

Now, onto our regularly scheduled programming:

1. In Argentina, a teenager who was a big fan of a local soccer team, asked a tattoo artist to tattoo the logo of said team on his back. Once the deed was done, he went home to show his parents. They were concerned that he had switched teams, as the artist had tattooed a penis on his back. It seems he was a fan of the teens' favorite team heated rival. And we thought the Yanks/Red Sox rivalry was bad.

2. When Rollins was asked about the Mets, he claimed that he thought they had been moved to the NL Central.

3. K-Fed wants Britney to go into rehab. You know things are bad for you when even K-Fed thinks you are fucked up.

4. Doonesbury author Gary Trudeau has been poking fun at Donald Trupm this week. Strangely, Donald is not attacking Trudeau and threatening to sue him. I guess Donald can't think of anything witty to say like "fat pig" or "I'll have someone steal your girlfriend".

5. Carlos Delgado may miss the first few games of the upcoming season, as his wife is due to give birth to their child. Carlos, if she really loved you, she would induce early, like the wife of that Bears fan.

6. Jared the Subway guy was seen at a basketball game with a rather well endowed blonde. I hope he isn't asking commerical partner Mike Strahan for pre-nup advice.

7. The Yanks have asked Robinson Cano to change uniform numbers, opening up #22 for Roger Clemens. Little known fact, they also asked Gary Sheffield to leave behind his extra needles and roids, for the exact same reason.

8. In case you were wondering, Bill Belichick, still a douche.

9. Bill Parcells retired this week, for the 5th time. Try try again I always say.

10. Bernie Williams is hoping the resign with the Yankees. The Yankees have no interest, since they already have a noodle armed center fielder.

11. Michael Vick has been cleared of charges that he tried to board a plane using a hollowed out water bottle to store pot. Apparently, there was no pot to be found, because Mike had already smoked all of it.

12. Tank Williams will be allowed to travel to Miami for the Super Bowl, after a stern warning from the judge to be on his best behavior. Tank responded, "Don't worry your honor, I'm gonna give this game both barrells."

13. Yeah, thats a good idea, let Tank roam the streets of Miami for two weeks. Nothing can possibly go wrong there.

14. This just in, baseball has mandated Jimmy Rollins take weekly drug tests. When asked why, MLB spokeperson stated "Did you read that story? If he thinks the Phillies are the team to beat, he must be on something."