1. The Mets announced yesterday that they have resigned Mike (.080 BA) DeFelice. Man, I'm sure glad that he is available in New Orleans to give the young pitchers added confidence when facing him at the plate. Too bad they will be other teams pitchers.
2. A scientist recently announced that he thinks the old Mars Voyager craft may have actually found life on Mars 30 years ago, but accidently killed it. Man, Marvin is going to ramp up his work on the Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator.
3. Sean Salisbury was recently suspended at ESPN for taking pics of his *ahem* nether regions and emailing them around the office. I wonder if he asked Golic for a Man Rule ruling before hand.
4. More Salisbury. He, along with a host of other ESPN talking heads, are appearing in a commercial for Nutrisystem for Men. John Kruk also appears. Kruk of course fell of the wagon by stealing the free week of food from everyone else and eating it in one sitting.
5. Speaking of fat bastards, Mo Vaughn is in line to by a housing development in the Brownsville section of Brooklyn for $21 million, and to pump another $20 million into it to fix it up. One of the new features will be "Mo's All You Can Shove Down Your Throat Buffet". Man, I'm glad Mo is putting all that hard earned Mets salary to good use.
6. Can someone explain to me how Goose Gossage is not in the Hall of Fame?
7. I guess the Baseball Writers don't want to talk about the past either, eh Mr. McGwire?
8. Tony Gwynn is looking a bit (ok, more than a bit) large these days. If you noticed, they only shot him on film from the shoulders up, since they forgot the wide angle lens.
9. The New York Times recently ran a story on how the new NBA rules mandating high school players attend at least one year of college before turning pro are a good thing. Carmelo Anthony was quoted as stating hsi year in Syracuse taught him a lot, like how to be part of a team, how to handle social settings, and how to run away like a chicken shit after throwing a punch.
10. T.O. fired his publicist. I've gotta ask, who made the announncement?
11. Bill Belichick hugged Eric Mangini after the Patriots defeated the Jets on Sunday. During the hug, Bill asked Eric "wow, are those man breasts real?"
12. On his way to the hug, Belichick angrily shoved a camera man out of the way. Being the planner that he is, Bill had spent time studying film of Randy Johnson and Kenny Rogers to make sure he knew exactly what to do in that situation.
13. Bears defensive tackle Tank Johnson pled not guilty to weapons charges this week. He was arrested after police found numerous fire arms and 500 rounds of ammunition in his house. One of the guns, loaded, was found in his bedroom. Tank needs better friends to help in with getting rid of guns, like Jayson Williams.
14. Oh, I know your waiting for the joke about the smell in NYC on Monday and a tie in to the Jets and (notso)Giants. Sorry, ain't gonna happen.
15. Jets fans rejoice, the Dolphins are talking to Pete Carroll for their head coaching job. Carroll claims he is not interested in leaving. And we all know how we can take college coaches at their word.
16. The Isles beat the Rangers for the 4th time this season last night, and the third at Madison Square Garden. The Rangers tied the game at 3, after which Ranger fans chanted "DP Sucks" in honor of Isles goalie Rick DiPietro. After the Isles scored 2 quick goals off Ranger goalie Henrik Lundqvist, they quickly went back to the old "Potvin Sucks" chant, given that is the best Ranger fans can come up with.
17. Randy Johnson, coming off back surgery, passed his physical, completing the trade that sends him back to the Diamondbacks. J.D. Drew immediately called the Big Eunuch, asking for the doctors phone number.
18. The SF Giants followed up the signing of Barry Zito with the signing of Russ Ortiz. Yep, those Giants are building themselves quite the rotation there.
19. Eric Mangini declined to annoint Chad Pennington his starting QB for next season. Eric said it will be an open competition, with Chad, Kellen Clemens, and a couple of guys who looked good on Sesame Street.
20. Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell continued their war of words this week. Someone please duct tape their mouths shut and put America out of its misery.
21. Jason Kidd filed for divorce, claiming his wife abused him. Can we get a man ruling on a pro hoops playing saying his wife kicks his ass in public?
22. Yeah, I guess Florida didn't deserve to play Ohio State. They deserved some real competition.
23. NASCAR is going to announce.... I'm sorry, for a second there I thought people cared about NASCAR. SOrry about that.
24. Mike Lupica today brought his knowledge of war and the military to the news section of the Daily News, writing a column about the planned increase in troops for Iraq. The column went awry when he tried to blame the mess in Iraq on Isiah Thomas, the Dolan's and Tom Coughlin.
25. Lupica thinks that Eric Mangini is the right guy to lead the military in Iraq, feeling that his demeanor and attention to detail would allow him to root out the insurgents.
26. Karim Garcia has signed with the Phillies. Garcia is known for his hitting, of fans that taunt opposing teams that is. How will he react when the fans in Philly taunt him?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
Sean Salisbury was recently suspended at ESPN for taking pics of his *ahem* nether regions and emailing them around the office.
What??? Is this true? I've basically hating this jack-off for years now, so I hope it's true.
6. This surprised me. I forget, is Sparky in the Hall yet?
9. Being a SU alum, I can say he also learned how to live it up in a South Campus apt being treated like royalty.
16. Yeah, well it's the same guys from the 70's & 80's doing the chanting. Whaddya expect?
20. I'll second this one. Who cares about these two!
27. Sorry about the tag.
Mike - I should have credited Deadspin. They had that story a couple of days ago.
Ded - Sparky is not in the hall, and is no longer on the ballot. Got 13% in 1988, dropped in 1991 after getting only 3.4%. Did not have the longevity I would guess.
Plus, releivers did not get credit until Sutter (who should not have made it before Gossage).
1.) Wasn't Charlie O'Brien available?
2.)Was Bugs Bunny operating the old Voyager or was it Daffy Duck?
6.)Does this mean you'd vote for John Franco too?
7.) All they want to do is talk about it...they just don't want to "DO" anything about it. You think they didn't know?
8.)Tony Gwynn is putting on the weight McGwire lost when he retired. It's guilt pounds.
9.) True & funny at the same time!
11.) They're real and they're spectacular!
15.) Isn't Rich Kotite available?
18.) Don't tell Chris Russo.
21.) She is a psycho from all that I am hearing...and I'll take Kidd over all ten overpaid guards on the Knicks.
24. & 25.) Great. All we need is another person in this country who doesn't know how to fight a war.
26.) If they don't sign Shane Spencer, who is Karim going to drink with after games?
Great stuff Ed...I am looking forward to this every week. Wednesday is a great day for it since I have basically given up on all of humanity midway through the work week.
padraig - Gossage changed the way closers were used. Hell, he basically invented it. Goose was the dominant closer of his era. That is supposed to be one of the criteria. The same cannot be said of Franco.
The Observations are weekly, every Wednesday. Glad you enjoyed.
I always thought Salisbury was a tool too. He's kind of like the guy who is in your crowd and everyone knows he is a tool. But he is such a loser you keep him around. And sometimes he pulls something like taking a picture of his privates and sends it around. It is so stupid, that it just confirms the fact that you can't let him out of your crowd because if you do he would probably get killed by someone who doesnt understand him.
Gwynn is blowing up like Puckett did. I think it is all the muscle the steriods created turning to fat. I wonder what McGuires opinion on that is.
Post a Comment