Weekly Observations 1/03/07

1. So someone videotaped the hanging of Saddam Hussein, capturing the whole thing live, including taunts to the former dictator by his executioners. The Iraqi government has promised an investigation into this, as they feel it was in bad form to taunt. The worst part was, after he swang, the masked men gathered around and did the "jump shot" sack celebration dance made popular by the (notso)Giants.

2. A US Study has shown that teens tend to binge drink. Ladies and gentlemen, your tax dollars at work! They needed a study to show this?

3. A guy in Germany traded his step-daughters dog for $53 worth of beer at a bar. That's a lot of beer. The bar owner returned the dog once he found out the facts behind it. Well, that, and he found that the dog wasn't bar-trained. Yep, the dog had a free flowing tap. Much like the guy himslef, after drinking $53 worth of beer.

4. You know, this Saddam thing has me thinking (shaddup). So he was taunted prior to dying. What are they going to do to make it all better, dig him up and hang him again in silence?

5. So Barry Zito decided to sign in San Francisco. Tell me, if a $18 million a year pitcher sucks in San Fran, will anyone care?

6. Revenge Bowl III is Sunday at 1 PM, as the Jets face the Patriots. Belichicken vs the Mangenius. In the event of a tie, the game will be decided by a hot dog eating contest between the two coaches.

7. Note to all NFL analysts - you can stop slurping Tony Romo now.

8. Romo went from "Hot" to "Not" quicker than Britney Spears following her jettisoning of Federline.

9. This just in, Saddam Hussein is still dead.

10. Is anyone else wondering if Betty Ford hit the bottle this past week?

11. Britney Spears apparently fainted on New Years Day, shortly after hosting a party. Her "handlers" claim it was just exhaustion, saying that mothers get tired quickly. Yep, they sure do, when the kids are at home with a nanny while Mommy is doing jello shots off the belly of Paris Hilton while sans panties.

12. Doctors say that Barbaro is healing nicely, and should live a "comfortable" life. C'mon now, what does this horse really have to do besides bang some mares?

13. Nick Saban has been offered the Alabama Crimson Tide head coaching job. This is bad news for the rest of the AFC East, who are hoping to petition the league and school to allow Saban to continue as Dolphins coach for the first 8 games of each season, when he does his best work, at least in the eyes of his opponents.

14. So Michigan got smacked around by USC, ending all thoughts that they should have had a rematch with THE Ohio State University. Of course, they blamed sadness over the death of Gerald Ford for the loss, much like they blamed the death of former coach Bo Schlembecher for the loss to OSU a few weeks ago. I wonder, if they lose their first game next season, will it be because of Saddam?

15. President Bush is calling for bipartisanship with the Democratic controlled Congress. He ran on that platform in 2000, so he figured it was time to actually try to live up to that part of his platform, now that he has to.

16. The Yankees continue to try and trade the Big Eunuch to the Diamondbacks. This would allow them to free up money to sign Roger Clemens midway through the season, once Roger is able to get himself into game shape and be able to pitch 5 innings a start for $20 million. Fiscal restraint in the Bronx - Love It!

17. After shutting out the Rangers last week, the Islanders have proceeded to lose 4 straight, including back to back shutouts. Man, this team is as up and down as Lindsay Lohan's blood alcohol content.

18. Dolls depicting the actresses on Desperate Housewives are going to be on store shelves shortly. I'm wondering if there will be a Terrell Owens doll in the box with the Nicolette Sheridan doll?

19. Bill Parcells said he was never as disappointed as he was after the Cowboys shat the bed the other day in a loss to the Lions. Tell that to Lions fans, who actually lost the chance to pick #1 overall due to the win.

20. Matt Millen has stated that ownership is going to keep him on the job, given the progress the team has made. President Bush gave him a vote of confidence in a phone call - You're doing a great job Milly!

21. Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell continued to zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

22. Guns and Roses announced that the long awaited "Chinese Democracy" Album will be delayed. Again. Expected release date is around the same time we see actual democracy in China.

23. Miss Nevada had her crown taken off, as the result of some pictures that surfaced on the web of her taking off other pieces of clothing, as well as simulating oral sex on men and women. Trump said, we can't have her out there as a role model, when we have someone like Tara Conner already filling the role of drunken slut.