Wednesday, February 20, 2008

The Return of the Observations

I’ll be typing some of these with my eyes closed. Helps the muscle memory. See if you can figure out which one’s.

1. So Hillary lost two more races last night. Bill’s depressed, because to save money, Hill is firing more interns. (my apologies, but I've got to use the easy ones from time to time)

2. McCain has basically sewn up the Republican nomination, leading to the possibility that Rush and Ann will jump off a bridge.

3. Andy Pettitte, the bestest, nicest, most honest cheater in baseball arrived in Yankee camp Monday and had an hour long press conference. He said he was sorry, felt badly and that he wanted to move on. The NY media of course proceeded to carry him out of the meeting on their shoulders.

4. The Islanders lost another defenseman to injury, making the count 4. No word on whether Ted Nolan is calling Denis Potvin to see if he can play.

5. Lindsay Lohan posed nude. Like Marilyn Monroe did shortly before her death. Was this really smart LiLo? On second thought, I forgot, we are talking about Lohan here.

6. Bill Belichek claims Matt Walsh, who was his videographer is a liar. Scott Pioli claims Walsh was fired for taping conversations. Walsh says, “that’s not true, I have the tapes to prove it.”

7. Last week, Roger Clemens appeared before a House panel investigating Steroids in baseball. We haven't heard that much talk about buttocks in the House since the Clinton andminstration.

8. I swear, I half expected Suzan Waldman to show up at the hearing and scream “of all the dramatic things, Roger Clemens is really showing how bad a guy MacNamee is.

9. Loved the semantic debate over whether MacNamee is a drug dealer. He is of course. I’m just thankful Chris Shays pointed it out. Next for Shays is to figure out if someone who drives a taxi for a living is a hack or livery driver.

10. Chris (Screaming Ninny) Russo and Mike (His Pompousness) Francessa both want to drive Shays out of office. Now, I know the two have a large following, but really, how many are smart enough to vote?

11. Nice prank the Phils pulled on Kyle Kendrick, making him think he’d been traded to a Japanese team. Of course, the Phils don’t get the real issue, which is that Kyle is so stupid he didn’t realize it was not possible. Hell, even the Screaming Ninny knows that. I think.

12. Carlos Beltran has named the Mets the team to beat, and said “Tell Jimmy Rollins”. Jimmy of course was too busy counting his WS share to respond. Oh, wait…

13. Hank Steinbrenner says that Joe Girardi is like Billy Martin, only without the baggage. Well, that, and the track record of being a good manager. But besides that…

14. After the hearing ended, Rep. Waxman said he was sorry that the hearings had been held, but that Clemens wanted to have his chance to speak. Clemens’ lawyer claims Waxman is misremembering the conversation.

15. Castro has resigned as President of Cuba, ceding power to his brother Raul. That makes two old decrepit dictators who are senile who have abdicated their rule. Wonder if Raul will make as many stupid comments and Hank S.

16. Jason Kidd has finally been traded to Dallas. In return, the Nets get a bunch of guys who suck, $3 million, two draft picks, and the carcass of Keith Van Horn.

17. Hank S went off the other day saying football has a big drug problem and should be investigated like baseball. The NFL responded by saying they have testing, and the program works. Yep, it’s a real deterrent, which is why they keep suspending guys who use drugs.

18. The sad thing is that I agree with Hank. Excuse me while I go break my fingers with a hammer.

19. This morning, Joel Sherman in the Post wrote that he wanted to be mad at Andy, but he’s just such a nice guy that he can’t stay angry. I half expected Joel to write “I tried to be mad, but when he looked into my eyes and spoke, he had me at “Hello””.

20. Fernando Martinez (THM The Hitting Machine) stated he will be in NY playing by the end of the season. I’m waiting for Billy to hang the “Know your role rook” sign this morning.

21. Careful THM, the NY media doesn’t like brash young men who seem too arrogant. See Milledge, Lastings.

22. As camp opens for the Mets, the big concern is not how healthy Pedro is, or how Johan will fit in. No. The big concern is with Carlos Gomez being traded, who is going to help Jose choreograph his dugout celebrations?

23. Remember everyone, think about the children. Don't let them grow up to be steroid users. Or blowhard congresspeople.

That’s all for this time folks. Ed will be taking a vacation next week. I’ll say hi to Mickey for you. And if I happen to see Steve Phillips at EPSN the Weekend, I’ll ask him how he has fooled ESPN into thinking he knows baseball.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Hope Blooms

February 14. Valentine’s Day. Don’t forget to tell the one you love how much they mean to you.

But the bigger thing happening today is Pitchers and Catchers reporting to Spring Training. Fans across the country are excited (well, maybe not Pirates fans). Mets fans of course have much to look forward to. Hope blooms today.

Several players came early. Johan (do I need to type his last name people?) showed up yesterday and threw for 15 minutes on flat ground with The Jacket, then spoke to him for a while afterwards. Dirty Sanchez was there, saying he hasn’t been in this good a shape since he was 19. Reports are that he is bouncing back from throwing sessions very well. David Wright came early, because, well, he’s David Wright. Aaron Heilman will be happy, as he has a parking spot this year. Pedro isn’t there early, but, he is Pedro, so I think he is already in shape and raring to go.

As fans, this is a happy day. We can begin to put last year behind us. We can start to erase the bad memories (I shall not speak of them here today). We can think about how nice it will be to have Heilman in the 7th, Dirty in the 8th, and Wags in the 9th. We can dream about Johan pitching a dazzler, followed by Pedro doing the same. Add to that the talents of Maine, Perez and El Duque. What a rotation. The kind that brings hope to fans everywhere.

Spring is a time when we start to think about how good things can be. We see low level prospects get hyped up (see Petit, Yusmeiro), and dream of how they will look at Shea Citifield. A pitcher comes out of nowhere to make the pen. An infielder flashes some leather and the bat. We start to think about the smell of the grass, the apple popping up after Beltran hits one out. The sounds of Keith (“Nice Level Swing”) and Ronny and Gary on SNY. Baseball in HD. Updates from Eddie C on the FAN. Howie making the call on the FAN.

Guys have now had the offseason to rest. Some, like Castillo and Beltran, had some surgery. Others, like Delgado, got to rest. The spring is the time where we think guys who slumped a bit last year will rebound. We push aside all thoughts of decline, regression. It is a time of hope. Hope that injuries are behind players. Hope that guys will be able to turn on a fastball. Hope that sinkers sink, and command is there. Hope that we won’t have to dip too far into AAA for help. Hope that new additions blend in seamlessly, and that those who left won’t come back to haunt us.

Hope that this year is better than the last. Hope that we can say goodbye to Shea with a big old party in late October. And christen Citifield with a couple of new banners.

Monday, February 04, 2008

Nice Job Elijah!

Oh, I am a Jets fan, make no mistake about it. But it was very nice watching the Giants beat the Patriots last night. The wife is a Giants fan, and frankly, I don't hate them anyway (unlike the Yanks and Rangers). So, kudos to the Giants.

Eli made one of the best plays I have ever seen escaping from that sack on 3 and 5, then making that pass to Tyree (who made the other best play I've ever seen) for the first down. Then, the pass to Plaxico, what a thing of beauty. The look of dejection on the faces of the Patriots was a sight to behold.

So, a tip of the cap, and the drinking of copious amounts of beer to the Giants.

Of course, they now have the bullseye on their backs.

Sorry Tiki (he-he).

Friday, February 01, 2008

“Will he make the other team lose?”

The title comes courtesy of my 7 year old daughter.

Yes honey. He will.

For the next 7 years.

'Tis a good day to be a Mets fan.

Hopefully, it will be a good day for the next seven years.

Good job by Omar here.

Good job by the Wilpons', paying $21.5 million on average.

Good job by Johan, who apparently said "I want to be a Met".

Welcome Johan. Welcome.

I leave you with this fans, our rotation next year:

EL Duque

Looks pretty good, don'tcha think?

As lefties in the NL East start to have nightmares.

Mets fans get to have sweet dreams.

BEER TIME ALL!!!!!!!!!!!