After a short winter's nap (OK, laziness), Ed is back with the observations.
1. War, famine, genocide, all took a back seat to the death of Anna Nicole Smith last week. Glad to see our priorities are in good shape.
2. Rupert Murdoch of Fox News announced that he is starting a Fox Business Channel. It will be more business friendly than CNBC per Rupert. The tag line, "We Report what we decide is going to make business look good."
3. Chan Ho Park has been signed by the Mets. The World Series is OURS!
4. I went to MSG Friday to watch the Rangers beat the Lightning. Sat in the second row, right behind the Lightning bench. Apparently, Ed has a bad influence on teams he sits behind, as the Lightning were zapped. Ed was not happy.
5. The only good thing about the night was being able to eat and drink on Jim Dolan's tab. Ed made up for a couple of months of cable bills.
6. Welcome to the life of a presidential candidate Barak. How's that foot taste?
7. Mariano Rivera demands some freaking respect. Mo wants to be re-signed prior to the start of the season, but the Yanks want to wait. Mo feels they will take care of him. Yeah Mo, just like they took care of Andy Pettitte a couple of years ago.
8. Sele, Park, Vargas, Burgos, Perez. Man, The Jacket better clone himself.
9. The Dixie Chicks won 5 Grammy awards the other night. I'm still trying to figure out who the hell the Dixie Chicks are.
10. The FBI has lost 160 weapons and 160 laptops in the last 44 months. Yep, these are the guys and gals protecting us from evil. Keep up the good work.
11. Deadspin posted a story where someone claimed Eli Manning likes to frequent call girls. Well, at least they won't scream at him if he is off target with a pass.
12. Kris Benson is out for the season after tearing his rotator cuff. Orioles GM Jim Duquette moved quickly to fill his spot, signing Steve Trachsel. So at least the O's have someone to lead the rotation in suckitude.
13. Hoping that Duquette was also looking for a way to replace Anna Benson, Jose Lima was anxiously awaiting the call. Lima Time! apparently forgot that even Duquette realizes he sucks.
14. The Chargers fired coach Marty Schottenheimer a month after announcing he would coach the team next season. Apparently, they finally got around to watching game tape of the playoffs, and realized that Marty sucks.
15. The Westminster Dog Show was this week. Bill Cosby's dog won a ribbon as best in its breed, beating out 0 (that's zero folks) challengers. It then lost the "Best in Show" title to another dog. Afterwards, the winning dog's owner was quoted as saying "Tell Bill to have a coke and a smile and shut the fuck up".
16. Peyton Manning was on Letterman, and said the Super Bowl felt "normal". Peyton apparently was hypnotized into believing this was a regular season game.
17. This just in, Rex Grossman still sucks.
18. Two players on Gonzaga's basketball team were arrested after cops smelled pot. During a search of their car, the cops found mushrooms. Of course, being that they are high profile athletes, no charges have been filed.
19. Because it can't be said enough - Braden Looper is a Douche.
20. David Wright reported early to Mets Spring Training. So did Pedro Martinez. Lastings Milledge did not, leading many Mets fans to say the he is cocky, arrogant, and undeserving of a place on the roster. Of course, the same will not be said about the other 22 players who have not reported yet.
21. The Cardinals will raise their World Series Banner and receive their rings prior to their opening night game against the Mets. They want to enjoy that winning feeling prior to the Mets knocking the living shit out of them.
22. The AP reported that Keith Hernandez will be on hand for the festivities. Keith was quoted as saying "Just like a women's place is in the kitchen, my place is with the Cardinals."
23. Tiki Barber singed a contract to be a correspondent for NBC on the "Today" show, and on NBC's Sunday Night Football pre-game show. I hope Tiki read the fine print where he has to report to all meetings 15 minutes early, and appear in full pads.
24. Braden Looper is a douche. (Yes, Ed has an irrational hatred of Braden Looper, why do you ask?)
25. More on Gonzaga. Apparently, the 'shrooms were in a baggie that was sticking out of one player's gym bag. Great institute of learning Gonzaga. I mean, shit, these guys can't even properly close a gym bag?
26. Beyonce is on the cover of the SI swimsuit issue. I have nothing funny to say about this.
27. OK, just kidding. It might be the first time a model's ass was bigger than her breasts. Mind you, I'm not complaining. Beyonce has a very nice ass. (man, I really hope the wife is serious when she says she doesn't read my blog. Just in case, honey, I did not write that, it was my evil twin skippy).
28. Carlos (The Greater) Zambrano told the media this week that if the Cubs do not re-sign him prior to Opening Day, he will walk as a free agent. He referred to himself in the third person several times in the interview, even coining a new nickname, the "Big Z". When did the Cubs hire Rickey Henderson to work with their players?
29. Mavericks owner Mark Cuban said that an active NBA player who came out of the closet would be an idol to many, and would be rich beyond his wildest dreams. Cuban said he hoped the player would be from his team, since he would know how to deal with it. The money that is.
30. Some NBA players were up in arms about the possibility of an active player being gay. They worry about the impact on the locker room. Don't these guys realize the important thing here, it leaves more groupies for the rest of them! Keep your eyes on the important things here guys.
So endeth the observations for this week. Hope you enjoyed, and remember, Braden Looper is a douche.
*addendum*
Why the Looper references you may ask? Well, Spring Training opens this week, with Pitchers and Catchers reporting. I'm just trying to get myself ready for the season as well. Yeah, I've practiced hate with the Rangers, but it's not the same, since they suck, and the Isles aren't much better. Baseball is where the vitrol really gets going.
I start out slow, just some long tossing from 120 feet with Looper. I'll then move closer, and hit on Pujols, LaRussa. Then, get on the mound and go at Larry Jones for some batting practice. Finally, game ready, and open up on the Yankees. So much there, A-Rod, Pavano, contract issues, Torre. And let's not forget the fans themselves.
As Metsradamus posted a couple of weeks ago, you have to keep the hate muscles in shape.
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4 comments:
Fine work as always, sir.
In the future, please warn me in advance of Chan Ho Park/World Series jokes, so I won't eat a piece of my wife's delicious, but extremely flaky, corn bread at that moment. Sheesh.
A few additionals:
I went to MSG Friday to watch the Rangers beat the Lightning.
Heh, heh.
Kris Benson is out for the season after tearing his rotator cuff. Orioles GM Jim Duquette moved quickly to fill his spot, signing Steve Trachsel. So at least the O's have someone to lead the rotation in suckitude.
Somehow, I can think only of Anna Benson & Scott Kazmir when I read this, Ed. How can I ever move on?
Two players on Gonzaga's basketball team were arrested after cops smelled pot. During a search of their car, the cops found mushrooms.
Nicely done, fellas. I knew there was a reason I liked those Zags.
Lastings Milledge did not
Regardless of the media shit-storm, this is neither a good choice by young 'Stings, nor is it a good sign.
The dude has a chance to win a roster spot, to start the season in Flushing. The greats of the game wouldn't miss the chance to get that extra edge. He chooses not to though. You think Jeter misses the chance to get that extra edge?
But sweet to see DW showing up early!
Keith was quoted as saying "Just like a women's place is in the kitchen, my place is with the Cardinals."
He also said, "My place is in the woman."
(man, I really hope the wife is serious when she says she doesn't read my blog. Just in case, honey, I did not write that, it was my evil twin skippy)
C'mon, Ed! You can't get in trouble for admiring a famous woman's ass. Can you? Hey, check out what I wrote today re Valentine's Day. If anyone should be praying for the wife not to start reading up, it's me!
Nice post today, Ed. I like #2 the best, I think. Re: Obama, can someone explain to me why he apologized for that comment? Seems to me he was exactly correct.
p.s. Check out my post today to get your hate muscles really flowing.
Methinks the Milledge stuff is a bit overblown. My point of the comment was that the guy gets no breaks. A lot of people expect him to be perfect, like Wright. Well guess what, DW is an anomaly. He has that internal PR person who monitors everything he says and does. LM lacks this. He has his own personality.
For those who blast his production, I remind them that Jose Jose Jose had a poor start as well. Should he have been traded? And he also had issues with authority, not listening to management on his rehab and new running style.
Pedro was historically late. A lot of guys come in at the last possible moment. Now, young LM is a rookie, so perhaps he should be there early. But it is not mandatory. I for one am not gonna jump all over him for this.
I do agree that he should be in camp, but I ask for some consistency. Bash all or none.
And Mike, I'm not trying to take this out on you, this is general frustration on my part with metsblog and other places and how LM is treated.
Ed, I'm with you 100%. LM catches more shit than he deserves. Period.
I WANT him to be great though -- just as he is, with his enthusiasm and his high fives of the fans -- so I WANT him to work harder to reach that potential. Darryl was my favorite Met back in the day. But I have to admit, he shit away a lot of opportunity. For Mets fans . . . and himself.
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