Weekly Observations 12/28/06

A Day late, but not short on laughs (I hope)

1. Sad news, on Christmas Day, James Brown died. His last words were "I'm gonna step back, kiss myself, goodbye aaayyyeee".

2. Brown's wife (his 4th) was prevented from looting, I mean, entering his home shortly after his death.

3. Tony Kornheiser spent prety much the entire game Monday night bashing the arm strength of Chad Pennington. Funny, I thought analysts were supposed to tell us something we DIDN"T know.

4. The Yankees, in an effort to cut payroll, are trying to trade the Big Eunich. The Padres, Diamondbacks and a team to be brought up out of nowhere by Scott Boras are in the mix to obtain him.

5. Boras is not Johnson's agent, but c'mon, how can I not write a gratuitous slam at Boras?

6. The Islanders, in what has become a happy ritual this season, beat the Rangers this week, for their third win in 3 games versus the Blueshirts this year. I have no joke here, just happy to write the the Isles are treating the Rangers like rented mules again.

7. To hear the Jets talk this week, you would think Ken Stabler was the Raiders QB. Thankfully, it is Aaron Brooks.

8. Leon Washington had to run a lot of laps in pre-season, due to dropped passes and fumbles. The practice has paid off, as he ran circles around the Dolphins on Monday night.

9. Let's keep good thoughts about Bobby Murcer, who is undergoing surgery today to remove a brain tumor.

10. Is it too soon to make Gerald Ford Jokes?

11. Jason Taylor of the Dolphins is upset that Shawne Merriman, who was suspended for 4 games for steriods, is a candidate for player of the year on Defense. Wait, isn't Taylor the guy who played with Ricky Williams? And how many Dolphins have been suspended for drugs the past few years?

12. Speaking of troubled teams, the Bengals have had 12 players arrested for various infractions. Commission Goodall has spoken to the team about the issues. Players say locker room character is more important than off the field behavior. That is, until it costs the team games. What's that, it already has?

13. Knicks beatwriters are writing lovely pieces about how well they are playing. Um, guys, I thought your job was to bash Isiah? Perhpas Dolan has perfected the Jedi Mind Trick?

14. Rumor has it Zito may sign with the San Fran Giants. Wow. Talk about living in obscurity.

15. This jsut in, another team has entered the Zito sweepstakes, the New York Giants, the feeling is that he has to be better than Eli.

16. Someone tell me when Tom Coughlin is going to discipline a player for stupid fucking penalties that cost his team games, instead of blaming everything on Eli?

17. Jeromemymine had another drop the other day. There were two personal foul calls against Bob Whitfield, including his second of the year for head butting an opponent. But Coughlin is a great coach, who has not lost his team.

18. Chad Pennington played Monday night while battling the flu. He apparently threw up at one point. Tony Kornheiser claimed that Chad couldn't even get good distance on his spew.

19. The Texas Rangers have given Barry Zito until this weekend to accept their contract offer. Satan, um, Scott Boras, has already said no, citing 15 other unnamed teams that are prepared to offer more money.

20. Until now, Boras has owned Rangers Owner Tom Hicks, having Hicks sign Chan Ho Park and A-Rod to two of the largest bust contracts in history. Apparently, Hicks is sick of getting slammed by Boras, and told him to fuck someone else over.

21. Funny, after the first Jets Dolphins game, the Fins were stating they were the better team. After the last game, silence. I have the response for the Jets, Dear Dolphins, Go perform a physically impossible act of self-impregnation. Love, the Jets.

22. I'm still trying to figure out the point of interviewing Venus and Serena Williams at the Jets game the other night. Did ESPN really think we cared out their responses to the questions about how to deal with adversity on the courts and how it could translate on the football field? Cause you know, chasing a little tennis ball is a lot like getting slammed by a 250 lb linebacker. Then again, Serena knows all about the latter.

Have a Happy and Safe New Year everyone. I'll be back next week.