Weekly Observations 12/06/06

1. So George Clooney's pig, which he has had for 18 years, died recently. Christmas Ham at George's house for everyone!

2. Hey Herm Edwards, still think going to KC was a smart move? Hey, Chiefs fans, still think Herm is a good coach?

3. In Fiji, a coup has taken place, with the military replacing the president and prime minister. Outrage is coming from all corners, and the UN has decided to get involved and restore peace. They will be sending Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka to restore order.

4. So rumor has it the Devil Rays are looking into playing several regular season games in Orlando. They figure that if they can get the game added to the Disney Park Hopper Ticket, they might just get 10,000 fans, breaking all attendance records.

5. NYC has banned Trans Fat in all restaurants. I'm glad NYC has their priorities in order. Fist, banning trans fats. Next, the scourge that is marshmallow peeps. Let's not worry about the little things, like getting the trains to run on time, and reducing crime.

6. The (notso) Giants adopted the Twisted Sister "hit" "We're Not Gonna Take It" as their anthem last week, after reports in the media of strife in the locker room. Michael Strahan was overruled, his vote was for "Smack My Bitch Up" by Prodigy.

7. The Red Sox are close to signing J.D. Drew to a 5 year, $70 million contract. Drew would presumably replace Manny Ramirez in the lineup, because, you know, Drew has a history of playing hard every game and not missing any time.

8. Barry Bonds' agent is miffed at the San Francisco Giants for signing other players before taking care of Bonds. The Giants responded "Who else is going to offer him his own recliner, equipped with needle disposal and an on call nurse to administer his "B-12" shots.

9. MSNBC erroneously reported yesterday that the Mets had offered a contract to Barry Zito. What, NBC reporting made up news? When did Dan Rather sign up with them?

10. Rangers goalie Henrik Lundqvist pulled himself out of the Rangers game vs the Isles the other night, after surrendering 4 goals in the first period. Many wondered why he would do this. I found the answer. On the back of his hockey card, he names Steve Trachsel as his favorite player.

11. Britney Spears continues to made headlines for not wearing panties. This helped make her the top searched star on Yahoo. As opposed to be a star topped by the yahoo she married.

12. Speaking of K-Fed, his album has not even reached paper status.

13. Greg Maddux is close to signing with the Padres, $10 million for one year. As part of his contract, Maddux has the option to leave after 6 starts.

14. Paris Hilton is claiming that she wants to have kids. Just what America needs, more Hilton's.

15. A woman with a flatulence problem forced a Continental Airlines jet to make an emergency landing, because to hide the aroma, she kept lighting matches. Let me get this straight, so as to not upset the fellow passengers, she decided it was better to LIGHT MATCHES on a plane?

16. A recent headline touted the discovery of a photo of a black hole guzzling a star. Many web surfers were upset when they found the story was not related to the newest Paris Hilton sex tape.