Weekly Observations 3/7/07

After a missing week, the Observations are back.

1. In case you are not aware of this, the Mets have a few players on the team that are older than 40. Thanks to all the local NY papers for reporting that today, because we fans never would have known.

2. Moises Alou had his first spring training hit yesterday. Apparently, he had run low on his favorite hand lotion due to dehydration.

3. The Brother's Giles are apparently fond of shaving their body hair. I'm guessing San Diego is gonna need a lot of Drano for the showers this year.

4. John Rocker has been linked to the HGH scandal that is rocking the sports world. He claims it was prescribed to help his recovery after rotator cuff surgery. Even Barry Bonds thinks that excuse is lame.

5. Britney Spears apparently tried to hang herself last week. I can understand. I mean, when K-Fed is being viewed as a better parent, you're pretty much fucked.

6. This just in, the Mets have questions about the starting rotation.

7. The Islanders traded a couple of former first round picks and a 1st rounder in this years draft for Ryan Smyth, due to be a Free Agent at the end of the season. And we thought Mike Milbury was no longer in charge.

8. Carl Pavano made his first ST start without hurting himself. In other news, he also did not fall in the shower, did not trip over his shoelaces, and was able to recite the alphabet without hurting his tongue. No word on whether he has finally learned how to drive however.

9. Gary Sheffield expects A-Rod to have a great year this season. "I left him all my stuff from my locker, including the cream and clear."

10. Breaking news from Yankee camp, Jeter and A-Rod actually said "Hi" to each other today. More at 11.

11. The papers in Florida feel the Marlins pennant chances are hurt by the loss of Johnson for the first two months of the season. Really, I thought their chances were hurt by simply being the Marlins?

12. By the way media, other teams have some rotation issues as well. Like the Braves (Hudson and Hampton coming back from injury), the Yankees (Igawa? Pavano? Wang?). How about a little talk about them eh?

13. Jimmy Rollins is still an idiot.

14. The Mets are all a day older today, film at 11.

15. Why do I feel that after the Isles Rangers game on Monday Rick DiPietro was like Denis Lemiux from "Slapshot" in the locker room after the first period of the championship game?

16. "Scooter" Libby was found guilty of several charges in the PlameGate case. I'm thinking if he goes to jail "Scooter" ain't gonna find many guys with similar nicknames.

17. VP Dick Cheney was treated for a blood clot in his leg after some recent travels. The White House thought about blaming Iran, but they realized that even Fox News wouldn't fall for that line of shit.

18. Anne Coulter called John Edwards a "faggot" at a recent speech and claimed she is not sorry, because it is locker room talk. I'm just wondering how much time Anne spent in men's locker rooms, and what she did while there.

19. Bud Selig claims that even if baseball goes ahead with the Direct TV deal for the Extra Innings package, fans should not be upset, because they can still see their local team. I'm sure the folks in Alaska are real happy about that.

20. Pac Man Jones could be released by the Ravens in light of the recent Las Vegas shooting during NBA All Star Weekend. If Al Davis were still alive, he'd sign him to the Raiders in no time.

That's all for this week. Ed's a tad busy and there isn't all that much funny out there.

By the way, last week I got the invitation to my 20th High School Reunion. The letter noted that there are quite a few people from my class who they have not been able to locate. So, if anyone out there graduated, or knows someone from William Floyd High School in Mastic Beach, NY in 1987, drop a comment here so we can communicate about this.