Clean Shaven Mets and the Return of the Observations

So, after Monday night's game, young David decided to have his head shaved. After giving him the business, most of the rest of the team followed, showing that David is the Captain (j/k). All except for Jose Reyes, Aaron Sele and Aaron Heilman and Glavine (though Tom said he would probably do it today). The result, a 4-1 win over Matt Cain, and agita for Mad Dog Russo today.

The game started with three straight doubles, leading to two runs. After a Delgado ground out, Alou drives in Beltran with a Sac Fly. In the second, Jose Jose Jose hits a triple, driving in PLD (who's bat has started to warm up.) That was all Glavine would need, as he allowed only a Barroid home run in the 4th inning. Tom went 7, giving up 7 hits, one walk, with 5 k's. Pedro Dos and Wagner finished it up. Wright went 2-4 with 2 doubles, Reyes was 2-5 with a double and triple. Beltran had a double. Delgado went 0-4 as did Green (who looked absolutely awful with his shaved head.)

So, the rubber game at 3:35 today, Maine vs. Morris. Let's see how Johnny does with his hair cut.

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The Return of the Observations.

1. Aaron Heilman refused to get his hair cut because he wasn't allowed to start the trend.

2. Roger Clemens threw batting practice to some college pitchers yesterday. YES will show it on a continuous loop from noon - 7 today.

3. Attention all Mets fans who bemoaned the trading of Heath Bell. Guess who blew a Padres lead over the Braves last night? You can all shut up now. Heath Bell, still sucking, now on the West Coast.

4. Roger Clemens just farted. ESPN will have wall to wall coverage this morning.

5. MLB is taking a close look at the Orioles in the performance enhancing drug inquiry. Of course, the only enhancers they are taking are for ED, so they can keep up with Anna B. Thanks to Rafael Palmerio, they have a large supply.

6. Clemens took a crap yesterday. Thankfully, Suzan Waldman was there to give the play by play "Oh, my goodness gracious!" Of all the dramatic things, of all the dramatic things I've ever seen, Roger Clemens sitting right in George Steinbrenner's bathroom announcing he moved his bowels! The consistency is perfect, he hasn't lost a thing."

7. Is it just me, or does Sterling's home run call for A-Rod (an A-Bomb, for A-Rod), sound an awful lot like Steve Somers?

8. Jose Reyes refused to cut his hair saying to make him any more aerodynamic would not be fair to the other teams.

9. In case you are wondering, I fucking hate Roger Clemens.

10. During last night's Mets game, the poll was what opposing player do you most enjoy booing, Clemens, Bonds, Larry Jones or Jimmy Rollins. I gotta go with Larry, that fucker named his daughter Shea. Douche.

11. So Paris Hilton is going to jail. Her fans are upset and asking Governor Arnie to pardon her. Arnie's response "Hasta La Vista, Bimbo".

12. Insert Clemens bash here.

13. Some pictures of Brady Quinn "frisking" a guy after a golf outing surfaced on Kissing Suzy Kolber. Apparently, Brady needs to work on his grip.

14. A bus driver was arrested in the Shea Stadium parking lot. He was found half naked, with a mechanical penis enlarging device nearby, along with a book titled "Swedish-made Penis Enlargers and me, This Sort of Thing is my bag baby."


****************CLEMENS RANT*****************
You want to know why I hate Clemens? A lot of reasons. First, he is a fucking headhunter. He threw at Piazza, and could have killed him. What, Roger got hit hard by a guy so he tries to end his life? Fuck you. And then the bat. "I thought it was a ball". Really asshole, then why the fuck did you throw the "ball" at Piazza? A normal guy would have thrown it to the first baseman. The umpire that night was a pussy. Clemens should have been tossed right then and there. No questions asked. But he was too fucking afraid of how the Yankees would react. And the fucking Yankees supported him, showing an utter lack of class. Fuck all of them too.

Now, because Roger has decided he wants to play more, we get to live through a month of ESPN following his every fucking step. Tape of all his bullpen sessions. His exhibition starts will be aired no doubt. YES will probably cover every time he farts. You know what, he went 7-6 last year in the National League, the so called "lesser league". He rarely went 6 innings, much less 7. So tell me, how does that help the Yankee bullpen? It doesn't.

I love the fact that the media for once is getting all over the Yankees for this. First the announcement during the game the other day. What a fucking joke. Way to deflect attention from the game there Roger. (And the response from Suzan Waldman is beyond parody. Christ, SNL in its hey-day couldn't have mocked it any more than she did herself.) Oooh, Roger decided to pitch for the Yankees, let's announce it during the game from the Boss' box. Oh, and let's have him tell everyone he has a super secret reason that he will only share at the end of the season. We all know the reason Roger, the Yankees paid you the most money. Don't pretend otherwise.

I so hope this blows up in his and the Yankees collective faces. I only wish he was ready for the series against the Mets this month. Of course, that is at Shea, and you know damn well the Yankees want him making his first start at home. God forbid Roger hear any boos. I don't wish injury on players, not even Larry Jones, but I might make an exception in this case. No man is above the game, I don't care how good he was or is. I understand wanting to see your family, but you have a job to do, and part of it is to be part of the team. All I hear is that he is going to be a big help to the younger pitchers. How exactly is he going to help if he is only there on days he pitches? Holograms?

So, in conclusion, Roger Clemens is a turd. I hate him for his headhunting and his better than everyone else attitude. I am dead serious when I say if he had become a Met, I would have ceased rooting for them so long as he was on the team.