Weekly Observations 11/29/06

1. So Chad Braford has left the Mets, signing a 3 year deal with the Orioles. Despite reports that it was the 3rd year on the contract that got the deal done, in reality it was the provision that he gets "firsties" with Anna Benson if Kris cheats.

2. So the President of Iran has written a letter to the American people which will be released at the UN today. Gee, I wonder if Bush could write a letter to the Iranian people and have the media publish it in Iran?

3. The Pope is in Turkey this week on his first visit. Protesters abound, many from environmental groups wondering why the Pope does not used a Hybrid Popemobile.

4. The Yankees have won the bidding to negotiate with Kei Igawa, a lefty pitcher from Japan. They bid $25 million for a #4 starter. Glad to see George has learned from his mistakes and is not overpaying for low quality players.

5. Archie Manning says he likes Giants fans and understands that they are upset with Eli. Wow, nothing like having dad fight your battles for you as a 25 year old starting quarterback.

6. The Post, that beacon of truthfullness, is reporting that Parcells is using words from Jeromememe Schockey to fire up the Cowboys for this Sunday's game. This despite quotes on ESPN from Parcells stating that words do not matter. Hmm, who to believe?

7. Michael Vick was fined $10 k for flipping the bird at Falcons fans after his most recent woeful performance on Sunday. He first tried to claim that it was a mistake, that he was trying to emulate Leon Washington and give the Falcons gesture of appreciation.

8. Ben Wallace, who left the Pistons for the Bulls, was fined the other day for wearing a headband despite team rules against such headwear. No truth that Jim McMahon has made one up for him with "Skiles" written on it.

9. Alfonso Soriano wants to play winter ball, and will ask the Cubs for permission. Yep, their gonna grant the $17 million a year man permission to play. Memo to Sori, think before you act.

10. Some jokes just write themselves. The Anaheim (don't call us Mighty, or Disney might sue) Ducks called up goalie Mike Wall when their two other goalies got injured. Yep, a goalie named "Wall".

11. In Mahopac NY, a man was accused of spray painting 3 goats and scattering porno around the barn they were housed in, as a way to annoy the property owner. He painted the goats genitals Orange. I really, really hope this guy is not a zealous Mets fan.

12. Here's something you don't see everyday, rapper Snoop Dogg was arested in California. The arrest happened as he left a taping of the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. What, was he afraid Jay was gonna throw down?

13. Kid Rock and Pam Anderson Lee Rock are getting divorced, after a long 4 months of marriage. Apparently, Kid did not want to make a tape of the two of them having sex and then sell it over th internet.

14. Michael Richards is in trouble. Again. This time, he apparently claimed to be jewish, using that as a defense against Anti-Semetic jokes he made a few months ago in another stand up performance. Wow, this guy really knows how to piss people off.

15. The brilliance that exists in Washington continues to amaze. A guy who worked on the Judiciary Committee started dating a female staffer for a Senator. He found out a couple of weeks into the relationship that she was keeping a diary, and was dating 5 different men. Then she stated a blog "Washingtonienne", listing all the X-Rated details, but no names. Now, a smart guy would run away screaming, and forget all about it. I mean, no matter how good she was, when she being passed around like Paris Hilton, you run away and forget, right. Wrong. The guy decides that the "smart" thing to do is to sue the girl in federal court, because there is no chance that his identity would be revealed by doing that. Ladies and Gentlemen, the leaders of our country!

16. Tony Romo is being called the next Tom Brady. In related news, Eli Manning is being called the next Ryan Leaf.

17. K-Fed is being linked to "former" porn star Kendra Jade. It appears the two were acting out some scenes, whilst he was still married to Britney. I wonder if this is the sex tape that everyone was talking about.

18. Michelle Wie finished next to last in he latest mens tournament. I mean, at this rate, Arnold Palmer could beat her.

19. Tony (see no evil) Larussa continues to support Mark McGwire. TLR states that he would vote Mac into the HOF. "I believe in him" is the quote. TLR also belives in the tooth fairy, the George Bush won in 2000, and that he looks smart wearing sunglasses at night.

20. Many teams are trying to obtain Manny Ramirez. No worries Mets fans, Omar is not amojng the suitors. He decided that he has a buy labeled by the media a "me-first guy" already at a cheaper price in Lastings Milledge. And they are both as adept at playing left field.

21. Some guy called up WFAN on Sunday morning and stated that the Mets and Red Sox could help each other with a trade. The teams would swap Manny Ramirez and Carlos Beltran. To his credit, the host immediately realized that the caller was in fact Brian Cashman.

22. If I see one more poster for "Driven", the scent from Derek Jeter, I'm gonna be driven to ripping it down. That's a sure way to be seen as a tough guy, sell a perfume through Avon. Good move there.

23. Note to Omar, please, for the love of all that is good and holy, make sure that NO Met players appear in ads for "Fathead". The GQ story was bad enough.

24. Note to Brian Cashman - ignore item 23. Please allow any and all Yankee players to appear in ads for fathead. They are a wonderful company, and there would be no negative connotation in any Yankee appearing in the ads. Besides, Yankee fans need bigger pictures of Derek to amuse themselves with. So does Jeanne Zelasko.

25. Barry Bonds was the first player Fathead thought of, but his head proved to be too big already.